I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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