Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
