That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
