Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
COCAINE IS GR8
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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