gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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