I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
one two three fourrrrnication!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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