Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize