Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
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I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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