If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
where are my eyebrows?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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