You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
