You smell like a Billy Joel song
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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