I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
