so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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