Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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