Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
