my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
