Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
