Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think my vagina is haunted
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
