So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
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I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
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Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.