After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
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I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.