Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?