new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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