I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
