SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There r osticjed everywhere
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
