Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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