Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
