So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
