North Korea, Best Korea!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
