how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
