and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
