we have officially lost it.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
