my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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