walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
