Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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