are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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