I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
