can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize