i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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