you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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