My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize