Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
