Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
