Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize