Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
