Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My feet surprised me
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
