We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They took my balls.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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