I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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