Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
