how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
