ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
