he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my being single is dangerous.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
