and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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