Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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