weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
