How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
