why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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