none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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