i dont even know how to be here
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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