lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
