OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
