Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
